Bankrupt Republic of Greece

Debtocratic Republic of Greece (Greek: Εεεεελλαααάδααααα /eeælaadaaaə/ , listen: Media:Name of Greece.mp3), also known as Monarchial Republic of Greece and officially the Frappe Republic of Greece (Greek: Ποιος μετακόμισε τυρί μου), is mostly known as the world's greatest country. It's a tiny country located in the Mediterranean peninsula, the paradise on earth. It's mostly known for its intelligence and logical philosophy. However, homosexuality was introduced by the Persians who invaded them for one second. Since then they are out of the country with their homosexuality which is now introduced in Turkey. From a geographical point of view, Greece is a tiny peninsula near the city-state of Helladistan. If you don't know this state then you have completely lost your spiritual guidance and you need help from an exorcist. If you don't find an exorcist then you can call the Great Archbishop of Athens and All Greece Christodoulos.

Government and politics

The Greeks invented democracy and the Romans converted it to the art of democratic corruption (which the Greeks also liked). Later on, the people realized they were much too lazy to govern themselves, so they formed a Senate to do it for them. Later on the Senate realized they couldn't be bothered so they convinced the people it was better to have a Prime Minister. These days the Prime Minister (whomever he is) is something similar to a Go Go Jesus doll from Dogma, a man of great presence and 3/6 of Kevin Bacon. His political party is called New Democracy (Νέα Δημοκρατία) because it redefined democracy, now a synonym of monarchy (μοναρχία). (Note: this party is subject to change until further notice.) In fact, they handled the administration over to George Michael, your regular power-hungry (and hairy) archbishop so it's more of a theocracy thing. The Prime Minister is well known for his appetite and has been said to be a direct descendant of Taz the Tasmanian Devil. This article does not cover the political opposition (αντιπολίτευση), as the parties responsible for that are Fast Forward, which is also noted by Final Fantasy fans to be in a state of petrification, and the Groucho, Harpo, Chico, and Karl Marx Flip-Flop Carnival Show. There have been reports that, besides these three parties, there actually exist, in Greece, ahem, let me catch my breath, more political parties, mostly belonging to the left. Sadly, credible evidence for this has yet to be put forth and said reports are generally considered wildly inaccurate. Singer Demis Roussos was crowned King of Greece in 1978. Greece was pleased to gain a Queen when Roussos married fellow recording artist Nana Mouskouri in 1987.
The current Minister of Foreign Affairs is the famous TV showman Tambakis.



Economy

Consists mostly of blackmailing the Republic of Macedonia. Other sectors include taking excessive and unmanageable levels of government debt and then blackmailing the Eurozone into bailing them out before the euro currency collapses and with it the entire Eurozone. Italy is also a leader in this sector, but currently doesn't measure up to the Hellass.

Tourism

If you're bored/curious/hungry enough to enter a taverna alone, don't expect to be served in a long amount of time. In Greece it's very unlikely that someone eats alone. One is usually waiting for someone or else why leave the flat in the first place? For the waiter it will be very impolite to ask for the order before all the guests have arrived. Though this has changed in the major tourist places, and especially for tourists (who are ridiculously easy to spot) but you can still find such behavior in villages most notably in the island of Crete and pretty much in most other islands.

In Greece you must adapt to GMT but in this case GMT stands (or often sits) for "Greek Mostly Time". The Greek people have a very different attitude to time. When the bus is scheduled to come 10:30 it will come between 10 and 11, depending on the traffic, how many people the driver has met and felt he should talk with, and many other small things. Or a local might tell you that the bus will arrive AFTER 4 pm! Then he hasn't promised too much. The Greek people don't live by the clock. The Greeks also have a different opinion about when it's morning, afternoon and evening. You say Good Morning until 12. If you have agreed to meet in the 'afternoon', the earliest meant by this will be 6:00 pm! In Greece, the evening meal begins no earlier than 9:00 pm. Also no one will think anything of it if you phone at 10.00pm at night. However, 'siesta' time, between 3 pm and 5 pm is held to be sacred. During a siesta, though, it is very unpopular (often bordering to dangerous and suicidal) to disturb someone. So it's not an oxymoron to hear loud shouts/screams/curses during siesta. These come from people who value this sacred time and they are addressed at the other 'malakes' who don't and who themselves engage in all sorts of activities which they cannot find another time but this to practice, such as drilling, hammering, furniture rearrangement, high-speed motorcycle drive-by's (no shooting though) etc.
Greeks enjoy the fine art of dance. If you tease them for it, they will promptly curse you out in Greek to show their intellectual superiority, then castrate and decapitate you, just to prove a point.





Public Debt problems

Since the beginning of the year, The Greater Hellenic Debtocratic Republic has had a small problem of cash amounts. This is due to a few people in the government (who represent 0.00001% of the country's population) who spent all the public money on luxurious stuff, the fine life, and in corruption. Greece is known to be the best places to have enormous amounts of envelopes full of money, commonly known as Fakelakia (Φακελακια) (also known as baksheesh) that the people are used to give to the public functions such as the doctors, liars, err, lawyers and (of course) the tax claimers. Besides tourism, the envelopes are the main revenue sources of the country. However, Greece promises to Merkel's German Nazis (achtung!) and the American Republican Robber Barons to pay them back by other means of payments, such as anal sex or by farting on their own debts.