Petit Erdogan

Erdogan his childhood...

Recep Tayip was born in Kasimpasa, a poor neighborhood of Istanbul. His family was originally from Rize, a conservate-sunni town full of Laz people who think they're Turkish and have a big mouth on the northeastern coast of the Black Sea, and returned there when Erdogan was still an infant, coming back to Istanbul again when he was 13. He spent those years attending Istanbul Sharia School and selling lemonade and simit (sesame rings) like those fucking annoying kids that always ask you for giving you more money. With that extra money he earned he bought porn magazines, I mean he donated it to other poor children in Gaza.

Erdogan selling simit on the  streets of Istanbul.

His childhood was mostly his father beating him up for non-islamic things he did like playing football or looking at other girls, or doing islamic things, whatever he did his dad beated him almost everytime up when he returned from work. 

During his studies he also played as a semi-professional footballplayer Kasimpasa, he wanted to continue his footballcareer but couldn't because his dad forbade him to play Godless games. A funny fact is that suddenly since Erdogan left Kasimpasa (footballclub) and started his political carreer Kasimpasa won the competition every year and even now is one of the "topclubs" of Turkey's First league., ofcourse everything in a very legal and pious way ofcourse...


After he left Kasimpasa Erdogan felt lonely and abonded. He had the feeling that he had no goal more in his life. This feel strengtened when he heared that one of his best friends named Ariël Sharon of Isreal died in coma.






To find a solution for his loneliness he went back to Rize to meditate but he still couldn't find the answer for his answers he was looking for until he went to a horsefestival. In his "Benim Savas" he would later write, "I saw a fury in the eyes of that one mysterious horse, if I wanted to become Sultan of the Ottoman Empire in the future, I needed to tame that horse." He went to the organiser and asked him if he could ride that one mysterious horse. The organiser agreed... The next thing that happened was.

well that must hurt

Well let's say that he wasn't the "special one" to become the Sultan of the Ottoman empire one day...

After his miserable horse adventure he continued with his political carreer. Istanbul dried out from lack of water, choked in waste and parched by the polluted air. In four years, Mayor Erdogan ordered construction of hundreds of kilometers of water pipes, modern sanitation facilities and promoting the switch from gas to fuel. Widespread problems that at the same time he managed to pay off muuch of the billion debt of the city. He also served 9 months in prison, because this is how Turkey works. When secularists are in power they put religious fundementalists in prison and when religious fundementalists are in prison they put secularists in prison.

In 2001 when he was released from prison Erdogan founded the Justice and Development party (the AKP), to tell a long story short, he won and became prime minister of Al-Turkiyaaaaaa.